Feelings are the mirror of my pain

I don't want to feel... more...

feel is just a way to get hurt by the things that are around me...

I'm not all the things that people would like me to be.. 

I would never be all the things that I was... 

I let bad people change the way I see myself

I got tired to try to accomplish people expectatives

I never did something without think how I was going to hurt somebody else.  

& I did other things that hurt me to make other people happy or feel fine...

I did many things.... but none of those were to make me feel good.... none of those were for me... 

& after a few years I realize that... I gave my 100% to everybody else ... & I didn't keep any amount of happiness or strength in me.-

so... I started to be funny & polite but I couldn't trust... 

....then.... some wonderful people appear ... I wasn't able to be like before...

I just kept hiding my heart...

I didn't want to feel... 

cuz I don't know how to care or love less than 100%.

because then I get hurt when as always everybody disappear.

I DON'T WANT TO FEEL...